


Days like These

by AtomicTaco69



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Short One Shot, bea isnt having a great day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:35:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtomicTaco69/pseuds/AtomicTaco69
Summary: its just one of those days where everything feels off and you cant help but think about the old days where everything was great and you were happy with your favourite person.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Kudos: 23





	Days like These

**Author's Note:**

> idk i was feeling things and couldn't get this out my head at all today at work so i came home and wrote this. this is my first time writing in years so bear with me please lol if i dont get this out now i probably never will soooo. if you read thank you and any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated :)  
> if there are any errors its on me i proofread myself and i suck at English even if its my language   
> sorry its so short my brain isnt working well today

Days like these are the worst.

I lay awake night thinking of you, of what we had and what we could have had. I feel empty, numb to everything and everyone. Days like these are the worst because If my life were to fall apart at any moment, i wouldn't care because i don't have you by my side. I don't sleep because when I do you're the only thing I see, the only thing I feel and I'm not strong enough to bear the pain of it. Being able to see in you in a dream but not touch you? How am i supposed to do it? 

I miss you more than anything I've ever known. I miss the way you smile at me, the way your nose crinkles when i tell a dumb joke. I miss the way you looked at me as if nothing else in the world mattered. How you hated when I told you to smile but did it anyway. I miss your voice, your laugh and by god I miss your hugs. How you would hold me a little tighter and a little longer when you knew something was wrong even if i didn't tell you. I miss the way your eyes would twinkle in the moonlight as if they were stars on it's own. I didn't have to act big and tuff around you. I was just me. You didn't expect anything of me ever.

You tore down the walls that I had spent so long putting up in a matter of days. You were able to see through them and let me know I wasn't alone. You taught me how to love myself with every flaw and imperfection. You taught me that it's okay to not be okay. You showed me that who i was was beautiful and that i didn't have to change for anyone. You had a heart of gold, you never let anything stand in your way. I always envied that of you because I could never do that.

I wish we had more time with each other, more time to get to know one another even if we already knew almost everything. I would give everything up in a heartbeat just to see you again. Just to hear your voice one more time. I read the letter you wrote to me every day, even if it's been 6 years. I look at our pictures even and just remember the happiness, the love, the care that could be seen from them. I look at you and see beauty in every ounce of your body. I wish you could have seen yourself the way i saw you and i wish i could have seen myself the way you saw me. 

You never judged me or made me feel I wasn't worthy. You were the first person to call me beautiful. I couldn't help but cry because no one has said it before that meant it. You gave it a deeper meaning than what it is. You not only said i was beautiful but that what i am, inside and out was beautiful. It didn't matter what anyone else said, only that of which i believe and i believed in you and your words both unspoken and spoken. You never rushed me into things and let me figure out what I needed before making decisions. You gave me time and space when needed but always made sure I was never alone in it. You made me feel the most safe. I knew that after any day i can just come to you and you'd wrap your arms around me and it would feel like home. You were my home and will always be my home even if you're not physically here. 

I always told you that we would never leave you, that i would never leave you. It's days like these that i feel like i failed because you're no longer here but i am. How can I still be here and not you? It was never supposed to be like this. I couldn't live with myself for the first couple years after you were gone. My walls were back up and thicker than ever. The other sisters saw how i was and i knew they were worried but i always told them i was fine. Clearly i wasn't, but at the time i didn't care, i thought i deserved it because i couldn't keep my promise. It took a long time before i realised that you wouldnt want me to torture myself like that. Surely but slowly, I started letting the sisters back in and things would start to feel normal again. Except they were not because we were always missing that one thing that kept the light in all of us. 

You.


End file.
